Tuesday, April 21, 2009

The Currency of Trust

Pocket change…..quarters, nickels, dimes, pennies…..it adds up over time…but it does take time… John Maxwell equates trust with pocket change. You put in nickels, dimes, quarters when you build trust…..you take out nickels, dimes, pennies, quarters…when trust is somehow compromised either intentionally or unintentionally….in big ways and in small ways. Trust is a fluid thing…I think….it ebbs and flows…it builds….and diminishes. Lately, I have been thinking of trust as a beautiful fluid work of art - like the ocean…always moving….but beautiful nonetheless.

The idea of the Currency of Trust has been mulling through my mind for about a week or so. It started with me asking myself the questions, “Do I trust?” “When do I trust?” “How do I trust?”

If I trust someone in one area….is it reasonable to think that I will trust them in ALL areas?? I found myself chiding myself for not trying hard enough to trust…..and then I remembered currency….. $10 will get me farther in Southeastern Arkansas than in New York City….US currency may be strong in some areas and not in others. It’s the ebb and flow…..building….and cashing out.

My next thought was of the cashing out process…..what exactly is it that diminishes trust….even for a moment? Does it have to be a breach of trust..or can it simply happen when I am asked to trust in an area that I am uncomfortable? Over the weekend, I shared a story with The Man about my “ancient history.” My knees were knocking my mind was racing. I was telling myself that this is NOT a good thing…..this is a scary thing equal to the monster under my bed… The Man was supportive and completely non-judgmental…but days later, I found myself questioning…..some of the trust pocket change had been spent…..BUT it is an investment, not a loss.

I realized that when I allow myself to use some of that trust pocket change and allow others to draw out of my “account,” the rewards can be great. It is an investment in the future of our relationship - a chance for trust to grow.

Some people simply say that they aren’t trusting people because of their past. They need a constant stream of pocket change put in their account……but here is a thought…..if you hoard your change in a bucket….all you have is change in a bucket…..but if you allow yourself to invest trust in someone…..a business partner, a relationship, a sibling, a child that trust will grow….it will build. Will you be disappointed?? Absolutely without a doubt….but as you grow your bank of trust with others, you will see your relationships change.

So….where does that leave me???? Where is my point of growth?? To trust where I have not trusted before…to allow myself to be vulnerable in areas where I may fail…..where I may once again cry my eyes out…..to let the past be the past, learn the lessons I needed to learn and let go and trust. Who knows……it may lead to something beautiful inside myself.


Phil, Mandy, Kade and Kooper Cooley said...

When holding on tightly to your "currency" your fist is clenched, your fingers are closed, and not much can get in OR out. But, when you open your hand, not only do you share your "currency" but you are standing ready to receive any "currency" coming your way! Great thoughts, Becky!

Becky P said...

You are absolutely right, Mandy! That is a good insight! Thank you.