Saturday, June 12, 2010

Blending

So the topic on my mind today is family blending.  My girlfriends and I have spent many an hour talking about the successfully navigating having a relationship where children (even adult children) are involved.  I have learned through these discussions that everyone has different expectations in blending families.  Does anyone out there have success stories or even tips of what not to do that they learned the hard way?  What expectations do you have in blending?

2 comments:

dluvscoke said...

Well, although I am not divorced, my parents were. One tip I would give you is to not talk badly about the children's father/mother in front of them. This happened to me all of the time as a kid. Both sides of the family were guilty of doing this to my sister and me. Kids cope better than people think and it will be so much to their advantage to not have to carry around that kind of baggage as well.

Becky P said...

Hi D. You are *so* very right about that!! I am sure that it had to be very difficult for you to be stuck in the middle and feel disloyal or judged for loving both parents. I am lucky in that my parents get along very well and don't speak badly about each other. My own children, however, have experienced times where my mouth is open and running before I have a chance to zip it....and I wish I could have shown more grace and mercy even when I was hurting.

My hope in (someday) blending families is that I could sit down for coffee with the former wife, assure her that I would never speak ill of her to her children and support her as much as I can.....and be true to my word.