Saturday, December 13, 2008

Lost the Series

The thing that frustrates me most about myself is that I am geographically challenged - - I am in a constant state of trying to figure out where in the heck I am. It doesn’t matter if I have been there a million times, maybe the leaves have fallen off the trees, maybe there is snow on the ground, maybe someone moved a planter a half an inch - it suddenly looks different and I am lost……again.

When I was married, I would call the X. He would laugh and give me directions - - more importantly, he would give me detailed directions before I walked out the door. I would still end up calling him because I was lost, but at least I was a more informed lost. Now that I am divorced, there is nothing I hate more than being lost - - well, maybe being lost and late - - but that is still lost. It is my own personal challenge to arrive on time and without much extraneous driving around.

Yesterday, I was driving to the Smaller Indiana Hole in the Wall group lunch. I knew exactly(ish) where this place was. I pulled up the map and looked at it. It seemed to be a piece of cake - even by my standards. The tavern was at Pleasant Run and Meridian. In Indianapolis, you don’t get more basic than Meridian - it is the main street of Indianapolis…..hence the name….Meridian.

Since I was on the northeast side of town, I decided to hop up Keystone Avenue which parallels Meridian about a mile-ish away. As I drove up Keystone, I called my girlfriend to deconstruct my last encounter with the X. It was quite a deep and involved conversation - but that’s okay - - I know where I am at, I know where I am going and I will arrive at my location early!!

Keystone turns into Rural (holy cow) and unsure of where I am, I turn off onto Southeastern. The road name itself should have told me that it does not run north or south nor does it run east and west, but I was deep in conversation about how I was right and the X was the devil (just kidding….he’s not the devil, but I am right). I end up back at the center of Indianapolis - at the mall. Now I know where I am - but I am late. I see Meridian like a beacon and am happy because I feel strong and confident and capable.

I turn down Meridian, happy as a lark. Suddenly, the road jogs a bit - - I look up and I am on *&^*% Madison Avenue. HOW did this happen???? Meridian goes practically all the way to Kentucky - it’s a Highway for goodness sake. Did I misread the sign?? Did I turn off without knowing it? I drive and drive and drive (because there is no way to turn) and go through a part of town I have never been. I am seeing factories and graffiti and smokestacks…. I get on the phone to a friend - and proceed to melt down - I am completely and absolutely lost with no way to turn and NO idea which direction I am driving. I am ready to go home and get back into bed…….my stress level is DEFCON 5 (which usually calls for procedures of chocolate, wine, and very loud music). I make a right turn (thank you David!!). Suddenly, I see Pleasant Run - the corner street of the tavern……and my heart jumps for joy!! Then I see Meridian - beautiful, beautiful Meridian…..and then…the tavern…..Hooray!!! I am happy!!! LATE…but happy!!!

I walk in to door, am greeted by smiling, friendly faces and suddenly, my life is good again. As I enjoy the light conversation and my hearty beef stew, I remind myself that getting lost is not a character flaw and does not mean I am not a strong, capable woman. It does not prove that I am unworthy nor does it mean that my X is somehow superior to me because he can get to point A to point B without much ado. It is a quirk….I get lost….period. At the tavern, I am surrounded by great people who are interesting, creative and kind and the food and the company were well worth the extra half hour. Life is good!

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