Temptations....No Bake Cookies

The other day, I was desperate for chocolate.....absolutely, positively desperate.  I tried water, I tried wine, I tried healthy salsa, but my momma's no bake cookies were calling my name.  After posting a photo on facebook, I was asked for the recipe.....so here goes.  My momma calls them boiled cookies, some people call them prailines, some cow patties....no matter what you call them, they are sure to satisfy a hefty chocolate craving.  Luckily, the man took the rest to the office or I would have been in a chocoalte coma after 24 hours. 

Boiled Cookies

3 Cups of sugar

4 Tbl cocoa (I use Hersheys or Hersheys dark, although I use other higher quality cocoas for other things, the Hersheys work best for this recipe)

3/4 Cup whole milk

1 Stick of butter

Dash of Salt

Mix ingredients into a saucepan over medium heat, stirring often.  Put out sheets of waxed paper (or aluminum foil) on your counter top/table top.  Bring mixture to a good rolling boil (more than a few boil bubbles, a nice hearty boil) and boil for 3 minutes.  (This is actually one of the few times I use a timer.....if they are undercooked, they won't harden.....overcooked and they are dry).  Remove from heat and add:

1/2 Cup peanut butter

2 Cups oats

1 Tsp vanilla

Stir briskly and quickly drip spoonfulls on your waxed paper.  Let sit until hardened. 

This recipe is so easy!  Let me know how you like it! 



Pandora's Box

“I just feel like I can’t get a break!” My girlfriend was discouraged - she had her fair share of hardships in her 30-someodd years of life. Life felt so unfair (as it often is) and she didn’t want much - just some space to breathe….and be happy.

Have you ever felt crushed under the weight of life--like you are squashed under a heap….one thing….and then another…and….yes….another. Health problems….car problems…..kid problems….love problems…..the faucet breaks….then the toilet…..then you spill your coffee on your white carpet…you get a call from your child’s teacher… you forgot a credit card payment….your X let you down….again….. There have been times in the last five years where no amount of tagalongs, ice cream….or even wine could take the stress away (but oh I have tried!!)….

When it seems the whole universe is against you, how do you hold on? How do you not get trampled under the weight of the world?? I had to ask myself, What keeps me going when I am running on fumes???? The answer is Hope --the hope that my struggles are only for a season….that life will be beautiful again…..I will laugh again….Hope that I will be okay. The hope that an argument with my man is just a disagreement and not a sign…..the hope that my finances will someday improve….the hope that Junior will listen to me and not buy that crazy-fast motorcycle (hey….a woman can hope)….

A couple of weeks ago, I was reading a book that mentioned the myth of Pandora. It’s been a while since I’ve studied mythology, so being the expert Googler that I am, I Googled Pandora myth. Now, we have all heard of the term, “Pandora’s Box….” and to the best of my recollection, it seems to be used in terms of opening a can of worms…..but the story of Pandora is way more than one of a foolish girl whose curiosity got the best of her….the story holds the key to coping with all of cruddy stuff life sometimes throws at us….the key to dealing with the unfair, the harsh, the things that beckon us to become bitter.

We have to start with Prometheus…..who saw man shivering down on Earth at night, eating raw meat and generally being miserable. Prometheus felt sorry for men so he arranged for them to have fire. That all seems nice enough…..except that the Gods up on Olympus had forbidden man to have fire as they believed that man would misuse fire and destroy with it. Prometheus knew that men would misuse it, but thought that the good outweighed the bad…..so he tricked Zeus and smuggled fire from his temple inside a hollow fennel plant (fennel is so versatile). Zeus was livid……absolutely livid that his will could be so blatantly disobeyed, so he sought to punish Prometheus and man.

Zeus called Aphrodite to pose while Hephaestus made a clay figure of a woman. He brought the statue to life and granted her with gifts….beauty, charm, cunning, wit, eloquence, deceit, skill, and curiosity. Zeus gave her an urn and said she was to never open it. Zeus offered Pandora as a wife to Prometheus. Prometheus (a pretty sharp cookie) knew it was a trick and declined…..but his brother (not the sharpest crayon in the box) took Pandora as his wife and they settled down in the countryside in a cute little ancient bungalow with a white picket fence…..and all was well in ancient times….. That is…..until the urn started to call her like an opened package of Oreos in the pantry. I can see her now…..walking up to the urn….walking away…..sitting on the couch….reading a book….walking back to the urn….thinking maybe one quick peek (you know……trying to get away with eating only one of the Oreos in the package)….just a quick peek…..and she opens the lid…..nothing happens for a second or two…..her guard lets down…..and then……all of a sudden….every hardship, every calamity, every evil imaginable rushes out of the urn to run amok on the earth…..toil, greed, illness, trickery, theft, mistrust, disloyalty….murder….pain…. all escaped. Panicked, Pandora tries to close the lid quickly, but her fingers fumble and the calamities are flying out so fast! Finally, she gets the lid secured on the urn……only one evil left in the jar…..hopelessness. Utter hopelessness did not escape - leaving hope as the only defense against the hardships of this world. Hope.

There are times that I do not embrace hope…..that I lose sight of hope….that I wallow in the unfairness of life….in how hard life is sometimes. But then….I see it….the bright light of hope at the end of the tunnel….just a pinpoint of light sometimes. But I know that hope never fails if I entwine myself in its safety….if I refuse to become bitter….if I don’t harden my heart to hope. That is what gets me through - Hope.

GlitterBall!!

The Man gave me a big basket of goodies for Valentine’s Day. I do so love presents and his basket containing individually wrapped chocolates, bookmarks, tiny books, bubbles, picture frames and a Ray LaMontagne CD filled my love tank to overflowing.

My favorite gift was a simple bouncy ball. As I unwrapped the ball, pink glitter caught my eye (I do so love shiny things). This man knows the way to my heart…..chocolate, music, and all things sparkly!! The Man held the ball and instructed me that this was no ordinary, shiny, glitter-filled bouncy ball with a heart in the center--it had meaning to it. He bounced it against my floor really hard, caught it and held it up for me to see. He said:

See the glitter swirling around the ball? You can’t see the heart can you? This is like my heart. Sometimes things get a little crazy and you can’t see my heart….BUT….if you wait a few minutes, you’ll start to see the outline and then the shape of my heart. Once things settle down, you’ll be able to fully see it again. This is a reminder that when those times come, all you need to do is wait…..just a bit…..and you will see…..my heart.

Isn’t that just how life is??

Sometimes, that is the hardest part for me…..the waiting….the settling….the knowing that if I can just wait a few minutes (or hours or days) more, the raw emotion wears off and the truth of the matter can be seen. I am a woman of action - - I want to fix things - to reveal things - to understand things - - to just flippin’ DO something to make it all better!! Time and time again, I have to learn the lesson of allowing things to “settle.” Sometimes I learn by success…….but sometimes I learn through failure. When I act upon that raw emotion, I am running into a situation blindly - - blinded by my fears….by my emotion. Raw emotion fuels my actions like dried leaves on a campfire…..making a big fiery show….but no real substantive contribution.

My horse trainers, Bill and Linda Black in Spiceland, IN imparted to me a principle of moving cattle ahorseback--let the herd settle and see what happens. When you try to move cows when things are charged with energy, the heard scatters and you lose control of the situation. Conversely, when you let the herd settle for a bit, you can influence the direction in which they move. Simple principle…..but yet so hard to do for an impatient woman who craves instantaneous results.

Every time I pass by my glittery bouncy ball, I throw it on the floor, catch it, and watch the beautiful glitter engulf the inside of the ball…..and then reveal the heart…..my man’s heart…..and I feel loved.

Red Velvet Cupcakes

Celebrations are important for our soul!! They are times to revel in joy…..to be satisfied….even if just for a moment….to let our guard down…to put down our list of improvements and just…..be!

Last week, a first-time home buyer I was working received notice that their offer was accepted! Hooray!! I love it when the stars align and things happen as they are supposed to. All too often, life gets complicated - very, very complicated.

This may be a shocker, but I have some very perfectionistic tendencies (yes, I know…I hide it well). My issue is not that I expect perfection in others; my issue is that I expect perfection in myself. I mentally berate myself from everything from the size of my thighs, the lateness of my arrivals, my love affair with the snooze button, my spending, my clutter, my disorganized organization….

I step into the shower.....and remember……I haven’t recaulked the tile.

I walk into the closet and see the pile of dry cleaning that I have yet to drop off.

My fall planters are still on my front porch.

My office……well……it’s the epicenter from a paperwork earthquake.

And of course, my personal favorite….”Becky Pruitt….you said in your blog that you resolved to take more bubble baths…..and you haven’t taken a single one…you are supposed to relax…and be more stress free….and you are failing miserably!!!”

Truth is, I would NEVER speak to anyone the way I speak to myself. I would never tolerate anyone to speak to me the way I speak to myself.

I could say this tendency is only within myself, but it affects my relationships with others. Let’s say that The Man implies that I will run late when we go out. I react as if he has been telling me this over and over and over……all day long. By the time that he delivers this benign implication designed to be somewhat humorous, the tape in my head has already played and replayed this message in my head - reminding me…..rebuking me…shaming me. My feelings get hurt and I withdraw….. and he is sitting there wondering…..what the heck just happened?? I was just kidding with her……

Is this just me??? Am I the only one this happens to????

What does this mean for me?? To be more mindful of the thoughts I allow to percolate in my brain. I can leave room for beneficial self-correction, but do not have to subject myself to self-flagellation. I can allow myself to fail sometimes (I have a tendency to refuse to do things that might mean failure) and enjoy the process for what it is. I can celebrate my successes….I should celebrate my success without feeling like I have to minimize them……celebrate them fully….thoroughly.

So…..last week, after I received the news…..I stopped by Holy Cow Cupcakes and bought a red velvet cuppie. I walked through the door of my house…lit the fire and the candles in my living room…..poured a glass of wine….and devoured the cupcake moment by moment….bite by bite….and allowed myself to breathe…and to revel in joy.

If It Makes You Happy

Happiness……I want it for myself…..I generally wish it for others. The sticky part comes when there is an X involved…..and then “happy” becomes a relative term…. A state of mind dependent upon someone else…


Do I want the X to be happy…..of course…..absolutely…..positively….just….well…. I don’t want him to be happy-ier than I am…. As long as I am in a good relationship, financially secure…..hangin with my friends…. he can reach for the stars…succeed.. find love… enjoy life. If somehow, I am less happy, I seem more inclined to be judgmental….to stir the pot a bit…to remember what a jerk he was.


I don’t think this is just Diva-madness….I do think these feelings “happen” to other women I know (do men do this?? Not sure)…. Case in point:


A girlfriend of mine was recently in a funk….. Her X (who has been an X for a very, very, very, long time) has started seeing someone. Now my girlfriend….(let’s call her Charlie after the fabulous cheap 70’s perfume….which doesn’t say anything about her… I just love the commercials…boy, I am in so much trouble…) has long been over her X. Charlie has been happily married for a number of years and really bears no ill will towards said X. However, Charlie just discovered that the X is dating--benign information--that is, until she found out the girlfriend is younger and is actually quite stunning. Emergency girl time was scheduled…Martini’s flowed….. bags of chocolate were opened…..


Charlie is a smart cookie --- she does want her X to be happy….and even have a wonderful and attractive girlfriend - - just not as wonderful and not as attractive as she is. After much conversation, we concluded that we can take the high road….and be happy for our X’s…that is…..as long as the new girlfriends are dumb as a box of rocks, at least a jean size bigger, and have a few cosmetic flaws here and there. Of course, there ARE areas that the new girlfriend is “allowed” to be better than we are - - better at finding our X’s flaws, better at getting on his nerves, more skilled in the areas of nagging, complaining, whining, being late, talking with their mouths full… you get the picture. Somehow, as “evolved” as we may be as X-Wives, we still want the X’s to wistfully think of us as the one that got away -- the best thing that ever happened to them - - and remember how much they screwed it all up (that’s the important part!). It’s not that we want them to come back - - (Lord help us - NO) - - but the payoff for us is that they see their life as a little less brighter because we are not there (okay - a LOT less brighter).


Reality check - - the X will be happy….very, very happy. He will probably date a model who is a good cook, who never raises her voice and cleans the house in a regular basis. Our children will love her…..adore her even….. and she will look up at him in adoration with her big baby blue eyes…and we will want to puke.

I guess the key is to prepare myself for the inevitability…..be happy in my own life and resist the urge to compare. After all, the biggest lesson I learned in my divorce was that I am responsible for my own happiness. It is not contingent on him any longer.


However, I also need to know there are times when I will feel as if I was kicked in the gut…that he found someone better than me…..and it will feel like everything he said during the divorce was right…..that he can do much, much better. Those are the times best left to the experts - - those experts of encouragement and sympathy - - my girlfriends and their endless supplies of chocolate, wine, tears, joy…..and the ability to point out that, yes, her hips ARE bigger!

Adventures on Match.com

Last year, after the Rebound Guy and I called it quits, my girlfriends and I had dinner at this cute, quaint Italian restaurant in Broad Ripple. After we had all deconstructed every relationship under the sun, the girls suggested I create a profile on an online dating site….namely Match.com. Appalled, I announced….”I do not have trouble meeting men…” to which they responded…. “WHO?? Who have you met that is dateable??”

Still….I was not convinced…..not sure that an online dating site was for me….it just seemed so….so….mercenary!! The girls assured me that it wasn’t so….that online dating could be a positive thing…after all, one of the girls actually married her “Match.” Thanking them for their concern, I said I would look into it…..knowing that there was no way in Hades that I would ever do it……

After a lonely night on the couch with my other girls….a box of Tagalongs and a bottle of red wine…….I decided to stick my toe in the water and see what happens. I created a profile….not one of “come hither” or “looking for a life mate..” but one that was a little sassy….a little “I dare you to date me!” The photo I put up was not exactly the most flattering. It was of me waiting at the airport after a looooong flight from Paris….waiting….waiting….waiting…. (hmmm….maybe there is a little symbolism there)….
Looking back, I think I was more curious than anything of just what would happen….

Day 1
6am……I wake up….check my email….and holy holy cow!!! Emails--lots and lots of emails!!! This was completely unexpected…..and a little strange….I had created my profile at 11pm….do these people work??

5pm…checked again…more emails….great!! Not lonely anymore!! I have people to email with…..to talk to…..to be e-flirty with!! Life is good!! I have fan mail!! Yay!

Day 2

Return emails……check out my “winks” and wonder why some people wink and some people email….is there a difference?? Is one method better than the other?? I wish I had a Match.com guidebook as I am suddenly clueless as to the “rules” of the game.

Day 3

What??? They want my phone number??? Really??? Why?? I am not sure I’m comfortable with strangers being able to call and text at any time…. My phone is the most important part of my being…..it is with me 24/7/365…. No way Jose!!

Day 4

Getting some hate mail…..from those whom I initially responded to (I always thought anyone who takes time to email me should get some sort of response…but the emails grew insistent and a little bit cr-azy and I stopped responding).  Obviously on Match…. Response=Interest…. Holy cow!! This is sooo complicated!! I was just being nice….and encouraging…not playing games.

Day 5

Meet?? I am not ready to meet anyone…. I want to email them a bit first to see if we click.  Called my guyfriend wondering what the heck is up with this meet thing…. why are they so insistent??  They don't even know me.  He informed me that, “Becky…..it’s called Match.com because they want to meet somebody….it’s not called write.com or friends.com.” Somehow, I thought the time frame would move a bit....well....a bit slower.  Obviously…..I am much too guarded for this type of process….. Meeting a stranger I have emailed once or twice and who already wants to date me seems a bit……well….odd.

Day 6

Emails……avoiding phone conversations……avoiding meeting in person….. but...I like fan mail....it feels good to my wounded little heart...  Realized I can see who has checked out MY profile….. reconciling the list of viewers with the list of winks and emails…… asking myself….. why didn’t this one wink….or email……why didn’t that one like me?? Suddenly, I felt under a microscope……and finding myself irritated at people who judge the worthiness of a person based on a few arbitrary parameters (this coming from the woman who is looking for a man at least one inch taller than her X….)…..

Day 7

Sigh…..this is so very time consuming…..

Day 8

Friday night…..why are these people on Match?? Why aren’t they out meeting people?? Oh….wait…..why am I on Match and not out??  Added some better pictures… Thinking I should actually meet someone in person and resolving to do so…

Day 9

Fan Mail!!! Yippee!! I have found the one….well….the one I have decided to meet in person….for coffee….I have had hundreds of one-on-one networking meetings…so this should be no different……. Famous last words!!!

******To Be Continued*******