Resolved the Sequel....2012

2012 is here.....I wasn't quite ready for it's appearance, but since I can't seem to stop the sands through the hourglass, I need to make resolutions. 

Although resolutions have gotten a bad rap of late, I think they are necessary....at least for me.  The beginning of the year gives me a good reason to reflect and to adjust my course....to tweak what I am doing to refine the direction of my life.  My resolutions aren't wishful thinking but rather mindful thinking.

So....for 2012, I am resolved to:

Invite people over for dinner regularly and set a beautiful table.

Paint my guest bathroom.

Turn my eye-sore side yard into something beautiful (or at least begin).

Attend networking events to promote my business.

Be brave and introduce myself.

Be braver and say hello to someone I've met before--even if I think they won't remember me.

Do some form of exercise every day-even by walking through the neighborhood.

Play Tennis.

Cook from a recipe more often to get more ideas.

Purge my clutter.

Offer more grace to those closest to me.

Discover something new.

That is it in a nutshell......welcome 2012!!!!  It's going to be a great year!!!

Ode to My Computer - Grandpa G

Grandpa G

My Gateway MA3
wears slippers
and uses a walker.

Tick tock tick tock
goes the grandfather clock.
Tick…tick…tick tock
Waiting…waiting…waiting.

Soft foods only.
No large, difficult files.
His false teeth can’t chew bites
……..like they used to.

He is falling apart
with creaks and groans.
His battery pack needs frequent
naps to recharge.

Tick tock tick tock

What’s that you say, honey??
Sweet?
No, delete…
Replete??
No, delete
Treat??
NO DELETE
…….Blue Screen
All my work is gone
Every…last…word.

My typing is too fast,
he can’t keep up.
He’s sitting in a chair
in the middle of the mall
waiting
and forgetting why…

Grandpa is six years old.
That’s 83 in computer years!
With all those new-fangled whipper-snappers
coming on the scene,
he seems as old as Methuselah
and twice as slow.

My Gateway MA3
Wears slippers
And uses a walker

…….I need a Mac

Dream and Lucky

I had to write an allegory for my Literary Masterpieces class in our last test.  I kind of liked it and wanted to share - - by the way, my horses are named Lucky and Dream......  Enjoy!

Today, as I went out to the barn to brush my horses, I put on my coat of despair.  Winter is setting in and dark dreary days are ahead of me.  Bills are piling up on the counter and there isn't enough jingle in my pockets to satisfy them.  Lucky walked up to me and nuzzled my shoulder.  "Why do you despair?" he seemed to say...he smelled my coat in deep breaths and sighed, "I am here...you can ride on me anytime...wind in your hair....and be free."  He whispers in my ear...."grace...you have grace..."  Dream whinnied from the distance.  A half-broke filly full of energy, she prances across the field tail fanned out, bright eyed daring me..."Catch me....run after me....I am yours if you just try."  I take off my coat of despair, jump on Lucky and start chasing Dream....and I feel free.

Introducing HRH, The Princess of Argyle

Introducing……..HRH, The Princess of Argyle.

Imagine if you would a little girl in a sparkly pink dress with layers of ruffles underneath. Her long blond hair is in ringlets with pink, silver, and white ribbons intertwined. Her tiny fingernails are painted a delicate pink with a smattering of glitter. She twirls sparklers and ribbons and sometimes big golden pinwheels. The Princess giggles incessantly and skips from place to place in her white patent leather shoes with frilly white socks (pre-labor day, of course).

Despite her frills and her sparkly frocks, the Princess desperately longs for adventure - to be found worthy - to be important. She wants to play an important part in the world - to offer hope and beauty - to console the suffering - to rescue puppies and kitties.

Not content to stand still and look pretty, the Princess has been known to pull on her daddy’s boots, slip on a piece of armor, and wield his heavy sword in mock battle. She dreams of the day when she can defend the family honor…..save the day…..and be seen as worthy just like her boy cousins.

Life goes on and she learns to use his shield - mostly to protect her heart….to hide the fact that she is shaking in her boots when conflict comes. Large shields are adept at hiding hot tears from her attackers. She learns that the sword can gives her power - power to be brave….to be heard….to be in control - but that sword can also pierce the hearts of others with wounds that sometimes never heal.

This Princess - this little girl lives inside of me. There are times when like Cinderella, she had worn rags and dreamed of better days and there are times where she has shined in all her glory. Sometimes I get protective and don’t let her shine - using the shield to hide her sensitive heart. Sometimes, I pull my daddy’s boots on, grab his shield and the sword so heavy I am not sure I can wield it…….saying…..be brave…..show your worth……show you are worth something….that losing you is painful……and I fight with all my might. I hold down my princess-heart emotions, refuse to see the heart of my opponent and be valiant.
Oh I talk a good game – I act brave and seem to approach things head on…..but deep down inside, I am still a little girl in a pink dress wearing her daddy’s too big boots and armor wielding a sword with all her might to valiantly protect herself from an evil king saying, “you’ll never beat me” all the while wishing someone would come riding up on a big horse, rescue her, and put her safely in the castle with a glass of milk and some cookies. This little girl longs to be brave, to prove that she is worthy…….but if she stops for a second, she will simply just break down and cry.

There is a song by a 90’s Christian group called Small Town Poets with a line that says, “If you let me love you, we’ll sit here and cry.” Sometimes that is all I want……

Can that happen?? Can I be brave and un-brave?? Can I be adventurous yet fragile? Can I protect and allow myself to be protected? It’s complicated……..but that’s why I am a Princess.

Check me out on Recipe Lion!!

Hooray!!  I have been asked to become a guest blogger on a recipe site.  I guess all of those hours spent cooking have worked their magic!  Check out the Recipe Lion blog page at:  http://blog.recipelion.com/

Here is a copy of their announcement:

RecipeLion is pleased to introduce a new guest blogger! Her name is Becky, and she has an awesome blog of her own called The Divorced Diva’s Guide to Survival.

Growing up in central Arkansas, Becky was greatly influenced by the Creole cuisine from Louisiana, Mississippi delta rice-based dishes, Texas BBQ and, of course, the flavorful food of the south. She watched her grandmas create flavorful dishes from food they raised and grew on their farms and learned at an early age the age old wisdom in entertaining…if you have enough good food, everyone is happy. Becky’s travels throughout Europe and Asia have refined and expanded her culinary horizons.

Becky raised her two children on a 650 acre farm in Rush County, Indiana where they raised horses, dogs, cats, cattle, chickens, ducks and sheep. Now that her children are grown, Becky lives in Carmel, Indiana where she scours local farmers’ markets for the freshest produce, grows herbs, tomatoes, and peppers in her back yard garden and supports local producers and resellers of fine foods. When she is not cooking and drinking fine wine, Becky is a Realtor at the Dream Home Company in Indianapolis.

Check out her blog, The Divorced Diva’s Guide to Survival.

Welcome, Becky!

Do I Look Chubby???

So last night, The Man and I had a conversation that went like this:

Becky: “I just saw a photo tagged of me on Facebook - I think that outfit made me look chubby…..why didn’t you tell me it made me look chubby??”
V: “I couldn’t tell you that”
Becky: “Well…..do you think I am chubby?”
V: “Do you think you look chubby?”
Becky: “I want to know if you think I’m chubby.”
V: “Of course not - but the question is whether or not you are happy with yourself”
Becky: “Is that code for saying I look chubby without having to tell me?”
V: laughs “No….it’s not code….can we change the subject?”
Becky: “But I want to know…… Would you tell me if I was?”
V: “Babe, this is a no-win for me…..there is no way I would tell you that….I think you look fine.”
Becky: “But you just said that you wouldn’t tell me so how do I know you aren’t lying to me right now?”
V: “Okay, I won’t lie to you - I think you look good.”
Becky: “So would you tell me I look good if I didn’t?”
V: “No, I wouldn’t……hey….let’s watch an episode of The Closer.”

Did I really want my man to tell me that I looked chubby??? Hell-to-the-no!!! I felt a little insecure after seeing the photo and wanted some assurance that I was still attractive to him. The difficult part is that I want authentic assurance…..to know that what he is saying to me is indeed true…..a difficult thing in his perspective because we all know that there is only one truly acceptable answer…..yes…..or change the subject.

I know that I’m not in the shape I was in when we first met. After my partial hysterectomy, I gained a considerable amount of weight (now pushing 20 lbs). (Don’t you love it that I can blame it on the surgery…..and not my love for food and recalcitrance to exercise). When I stepped on the scale this morning, I let out a gasp 150!!!!!! OMG!!!! OMG!!! OMG!!!! Just last week I was hating 144….and the kicker is that I WAS GOOD!!! This is week four into my re-initiation to running and I feel strong. I have cut WAY down on simple carbs and have been watching my portions. I have even cut back (somewhat) on the consumption of calorie-laden alcoholic drinks. What gives????? I am back to the weight I was in 2004 when I discovered the X’s affair. He always told me I was sexy and beautiful…..and then slept with my friend who could be a Victoria Secret model…..tall…..thin…..beautiful…..grrrrrrr…..

As I laced up my Rykas to go on my run, I felt strong. I reminded myself to not grow weary in doing what is right because in due time I will be rewarded. I rededicated myself to continue with my good habits and not fall off the wagon into fields of chocolate ice cream. The Man is right…..it’s all about whether or no I want to make a change….not whether or not he thinks I should make a change. I just need to be consistent….I did not gain the weight in a month, (as a matter of fact, I coasted at the same ideal weight for about six months before it started creeping up) so I will not lose it in a month. *sigh* I am so impatient.

But for me….for now….I’ve gotta just keep on truckin!

C is for.........crushed!!

A “C”??????? Really???? Not an “A” not a “B” not even a “B-“ but a flippin “C??” I scan the professor’s comments over and over again. A “C”???????? There were a total of 4 A’s in the class and I think around 8 or so B’s and I got a “C”? I scan over the comments for the 150th time. It’s not my best work, but it certainly wasn’t my worst. The comments, although plentiful, didn’t seem to be “C” comments. What did the people who got A’s and B’s do that I didn’t??

What is a perfectionistic woman to do??

Studying has taken the place of organization. Mail sits in heaps on the counter, dishes are piled up, carpets are unvaccuumed and I don’t even want to address the science projects in the back of the fridge. All in all……..school is totally kicking my butt!!

It seems as if the entire day is mocking my resolve to give myself a break! Even my jeans were way too tight today (after weeks of food revelry of Super Bowl and Valentine’s Day)….it’s Fat Tuesday and I feel just that……fat!!!!

A “C”?????

It’s been a l-o-n-g time since I have subjected myself to the letter grade system of judging the worth of my writing...... I am all for evaluation - - as long as I get an “A.” But a “C”??? It’s history for goodness sake…..not math…..not science!

So what now?? How do I approach this giant, rounded letter?

Growing Up Southern

My book club is full of wonderful women….wonderful, strong women who love to discuss and really “dig-in” to books --- finding the lessons……the struggles….and even the beauty that evolves in a character or through circumstances. I love book club! I live for book club!!

This week, we discussed The Help by Kathryn Stockett. The Help tells the stories of fictional African-American women who worked in southern homes in the 60’s. It’s about relationships between women- the good, the bad, and the ugly. One of the characters, Abileen, made it her job…..even her mission…..to influence the children she took care of….to influence them to know they are wonderful and beautiful……to love and not hate…..and to see the commonalities not just the differences. Her goal was to change the destiny of one child and by that child eventually change the world.

The Help is now one of my favorite books. It got me thinkin’--thinkin’ about the women who shaped my life……who invested in me……who collectively showed me the path that I am on now. These women have impacted me…..my children….and eventually even my grandchildren. Because of their investment in my heart, my soul and my outlook on life, they have even impacted YOU…..my readers…my friends….my circle of influence….and that is a beautiful thing!

Today’s blog is an homage to The Women who shaped me, who inspired me, who cared for me, and who challenged me. These women demonstrated to me the grace and the beauty of being a strong, southern woman.

Growing up in central Arkansas in an era of black and white tv’s, window air conditioners, rotary telephones and cars without seat belts, I learned an appreciation of the simple things:

Water hose fights on a hot summer day
Popsicles with ice cream in the middle
Lying in front of a fan reading a book
Singing into that fan-listening to how it changed my voice
Casual conversation on the porch swing
Spitting watermelon seeds at my cousins
Bologna sandwiches with mustard and cheese
Bare feet feeling the cold floor in the refrigeration section at the Piggly Wiggly
Icees at Kmart
Riding in the back of the pickup truck
Lying on a raft in the stillness of the lake
Bluegrass music

My Momma and Daddy had two distinct and very different family dynamics. Momma’s family had the quiet intellectual types…..the ones who could quote poetry at the drop of a hat….the ones who invented new ways to do old things. Religion and Politics were never discussed (although Grandpa was a preacher) and voices always carried a civilized tone.

Daddy’s family was lively and full of debate, discussion, and practical jokes. Religion and politics were the favorite discussion topics at the kitchen table. One had to strategize to get the best seat at the table and the last bowlful of dumplins….AND watch over that bowl like a hawk because if you turned your back, the bowl would disappear into thin air and you would never find it.  The house was always loud and full of people.  As a matter of fact, that kitchen would get so loud that we kids had to turn the tv all the way up to hear it......that is....until the inevitable pause in the conversation exposed the loud tv and we would hear...."You kids turn that tv down!"

Both families were full of strong, beautiful, intriguing women of all types.  These women taught me:

That the worst thing you could ever do was be ugly--ugly on the inside--and say ugly things. The words, “That was ugly” brought a sense of shame in my heart and made me remember to be considerate of others……always.

Being strong doesn’t mean that you can’t be soft as well. Being strong isn’t about being hard……it’s about being resilient…like Scarlet O’Hara.

My opinions matter……..but giving my opinion should never be at the expense of someone else’s feelings…..it’s all about the delivery.

Family is very, very, very important. If someone is family, they are a part of your life….period. It doesn’t mean we always like them…….but we always cheer for them to do well. It’s important to spend time with your family and get to know them as people.

You can get away with murder with a smile and a coy look.

That looking nice isn’t about false appearances, it’s about self-respect.

It is important to tell those around you that you love them….and tell them often.

Laughter is a wonderful binding agent.

Respect is given not earned….and where respect is given, respect is gotten. When disrespect is given, disrespect is gotten.

These women, the aunts, cousins, grandmothers, family friends, and, of course, my mother embodied such beauty, such knowledge, such southern wonderfulness…… They made me who I am today…..and I am eternally grateful.

My Realtor Video Introduction

It's been a busy, busy week here at the Dream Home Company, Realtors! I received the finished version of my video profile created by Dave Anderson at Pinpoint Multimedia. Creating the video was a lot of fun - - I had several out-takes which I am sure will come to haunt me at some point in time.... :)

Video Profile

Enjoy!

25 Things About Me

Okay - so the 25 Things About Me craze has reached all of my Facebook friends and I am now obliged to share two dozenish things that inquiring minds want to know about me…..so what better medium than my blog. As one friend put it, my blog and Facebook page are “like the operations manual to Becky Pruitt.” So here goes…..

I am a romantic……love the cute nicknames, picnics, candlelight dinners, presents, happy notes, holding hands….the whole shebang - - if it is sappy, think BP

Even as a kid, I joined everything and tried to learn everything - I was in girl scouts, 4-H, church groups (several at once), took baton lessons, piano lessons, dance lessons, gymnastics, craft classes, joined library groups, school groups, leadership groups, community service projects - you name it, I was involved…

I tend to be a complex being - am very girlie but am happiest when I am outside hiking in the mud, sleeping in a tent, swimming in the lake, on a horse moving cattle….

When I am stressed, my house turns looks like it was hit by a tornado - otherwise, I am pretty neat.

I tend to put every man I like into the dreaded “friend box.” If I really like you, it’s like the kiss of death - but it means that I want you around for a while……

Dancing is one of my favorite things to do - - doesn’t even matter what kind - ballroom dancing, salsa dancing, hip hop dancing, disco, little kid dances, the Happy Dance when I do well in golf……I love it all!!

I am terrified of clowns.

Most of the time, I talk to the people driving around me - but it’s typically encouraging…sweetly willing them to turn quicker, drive faster…..I may even make up a cute nickname for them……seriously…..it’s almost always nice….. “come on sweetie, you can do it…..go ahead…turn…..you’re okay…turn….come on….” It’s somewhat odd…

Mornings are my favorite time of the day……..there is rarely a morning that I don’t just bubble over with energy.

I have a thing for coats…..and shoes…..and purses…..

My favorite way to travel is “on the fly” - go to Europe with a railpass and a backpack and a rough itinerary and just “go.”

I am terrified of heights…….but am a roller coaster FREAK.

I can speak in front of people without pause, but ask me to sing…….um…..not going to happen.

My car has a name - Carlito - he also has personality……I talk about him so much that people may think we are dating……”Carlito is not happy today…”

I love cows - love to watch them, listen to them eat, smell them

I shop when I am upset……if I can’t shop, then I purge unwanted items out of my closets and drawers.

Writing is my outlet - I feel like I can best express myself when sitting down with my thoughts pen to paper (or fingers on keyboard). I work through most of my issues this way.

I used to teach Sunday School to junior high and high school students. I like to think that I made an impact - or at least gave them perspective - my favorite things to do were (a) standing on chairs (b) throwing candy (c) throwing shoes (d) drawing pictures

I love football - but only like to watch teams I like on tv. Live high school and college football rocks!!

In high school, I hated to run so much that I would get an “F” in PE for the day rather than run.

Not only can I ride a horse and rope a calf, I can also wrestle a 300 pound bull calf to the ground and cut off “the boys” with my pocketknife - a skill I have passed on to my stunningly beautiful daughter **boyfriend take note**. (sexy huh!!)

Bo Duke was going to marry me unless Shawn Cassidy swept me away first.

As a kid, I really thought animals could talk if I listened to them hard enough. I was constantly testing this theory and encouraging them that they could talk to me (yes, I am a dork)……as a result - Grizzly Adams was my hero - I even had his lunch box - in the shape of a log cabin (the top was curved).

I love, love, love to cook! The more complex the recipe, the better...... however, simple things like pancakes, meatloaf and fried chicken give me fits - I just can’t seem to get them right, much to my dismay…

I am a shutterbug - I love to take pictures - absolutely love it!! It’s my creative outlet. To me, pictures record a life….

Enjoy!!!

Resolved

As it is only the 12th day of January and I already seem to be struggling with my New Years Resolutions, I thought it would be imperative to put them in writing and publish them for all to see…..that way, maybe I will actually truly resolve to make changes….so here goes…

Resolved…….I will run 10 miles per week - EVERY week
Resolved…….I will read 2 Pulitzer Prize winning novels this year
Resolved…….I will be 5 minutes early - ALWAYS (did I really just commit to that?? eek!)
Resolved…….I will drink 64 oz of water every day
Resolved…….I will go sailing (have never been)
Resolved…….I will learn to play polo (took one lesson last year but want to actually be able to play)
Resolved……I will entertain more at home
Resolved……I will learn more French vocabulary
Resolved……I will find a place to have my morning tea…and go there regularly
Resolved……I will find a beer I can drink in the summer on a boat
Resolved……I will actually go out on real dates not the friend kind….not the networking kind…real honest to goodness dates
Resolved……I will spend my 40th birthday in Tahiti

Who I want to be - I want to be:
-Relational
-Organized
-Successful - Professional
-Happy
-Connected

2009 is the year for:
-girlfriends
-creativity
-taking a risk
-being brave

This is my mission statement for the year: Becky Pruitt strives to be a relational yet organized professional who is connected in her community and seeks to be content and happy in her life. By taking risks and being creative she will broaden her life experiences. Becky is committed to deepening her relationships with her girlfriends through shared experiences and lots of wine and chocolate.

Resolved……2009 is going to ROCK!!

My Year in Review

This week, I have been pondering my 2008……did it measure up to my expectations? Did I accomplish everything I set out to do?? Would I consider it a good year?

My life tends to express itself in themes - themes in lessons, themes for challenges, themes in relationships. 2008 was my year to be brave and my year for change. Looking back, 2008 is going to be one of my favorite years - there was just so much discovery, creativity, joy and learning. In 2008, I learned to truly be brave and to live my life on purpose.

The year started with my girlfriends sitting around the table in my new house - boxes were in every corner - toasting to a happy and prosperous 2008 with a glass of champagne. I had just moved into my house and my divorce was almost finalized. The movers had just left, the painter had been fired, and the champagne glasses were the first items to be unpacked. Sitting around the table were my strong and supportive women - the fabulous women of the Board of Directors (so we call ourselves). We encouraged each other to press onward and upward in 2008 - to be prosperous - to be brave.

My 2007 ended with this blog on Myspace… December 29, 2007

I have just spent an eternity packing the things I have accumulated over the last 20 years of life and sorting them into piles of "his" and "hers.." But how do you really determine his and hers when a life was shared??

My new life - the life all my own - the life I create for myself……it was a concept I embraced with open arms…looking back, this year included:

My first date since I was 22 years old…and the ensuing girlfriend conversations of whether it actually was a date….
Having a house of my very own….
Packing 16 years worth of memories…..and knowing what to leave…..
Firing my painter….and then dealing with his wife….
Moving into a winterized home and having to figure out how to turn on the main water supply…..a truly traumatic experience as I did NOT want to call the soon-to-be-X…
Having a guy friend come over to hang my closet shelves because I was clueless….
Having to support myself for the first time in my life…..
Crying on my staircase because I felt so overwhelmed…….many, many times….
Joining a book club..
Throwing myself a birthday party…..and loving every minute of it!!
Learning to speak French…
Buying my first lawnmower….
Traveling to France……then Napa Valley….then Greece and Turkey…
Falling in love……and then realizing we weren’t right for each other….
Having my daughter move to Colorado and realizing she would never live at home again…
Remembering how to ski…
Creating strong female friendships - creating strong guy-friend relationships…
Becoming a mentor to teenage girls….
Taking a polo lesson….
Having surgery - a partial hysterectomy - and letting my girlfriends take care of me….
Changing careers….
Learning to paint….
Shoveling my driveway - for the first time
And putting my life “out there” in the form of a blog.

My 2008 has been a joy to discover….the resolutions I made last year created a theme to keep me pressing onward and upward

I felt like the grinch taking all of the presents in Who-ville....

Somehow, items I haven't seen in 10 or 15 years now have grave importance in my life... items that would have gone into the garage sale box are now lovingly packed into boxes to be shipped an hour away and possibly never seen again...

But.... the BIG question is how two adults can agree on who gets what house, where the kids stay, and who pays for college but have to seriously (but politely) negotiate who gets the Pizzelle maker that was used all of one time…10 years ago....

Suddenly birthday gifts of bread machines, sound systems, ice cream makers and DVD's become prized keepsakes with fond memories attached..

Every little item becomes one of utmost importance while the elephant in the room grows bigger and bigger and bigger.... we each are looking for a piece of our life to hold on to.... while it is slipping through our fingers never to return....

So I will pack all of my "elephants" and he will keep all of his.... never to be discussed nor truly see the light of day.... while our things are sorted and sifted and make their way into our new lives...

Don't be afraid.....just breathe.... be kinder and more compassionate, love more often and more deeply, laugh....even when I want to cry, and always look for the joy. May 2008 be a year of discovery and wonder. Cheers!


I smile when I read those words as I realize that for the first time in my life, my resolutions came to pass - they made a difference….

I can’t WAIT to see what happens in 2009!!!!!

The Journey of Discovery

It has been a year since I took off my wedding rings, stored them in my jewelry box, and set my course for a life of my own…..a life painted with colors and a brush that I chose - no negotiation, no guilt, no drama….my life - my very own life.

Looking back at the past year, I have learned a thing or two about myself - or maybe I could even say relearned a thing or two… Somehow along the way, I had gotten stuck - I had departed the spunky girl I once knew - the girl who made mud pies and sashayed through her grandmas house in slip-on heels two sizes too big for her - the girl who wanted to change the world - the girl who enjoyed showing people that she could rise to the challenge and then just keep going. That girl seemed a million miles away…but now a year later, I seemed to have found her.

My life is good! I have fabulous girlfriends and amazing guy friends. I surround myself with beautiful things and beautiful people. Although I think I would like to be in a relationship eventually, I am enjoying the process of discovering who I am without another person’s opinion of who I am and who I should be.

Joy has found me and I have embraced her as an old friend!

This marks the second year of my singleness - my year to take risks and push myself to the limits of what I think I can do. I have left the security of the industry I knew - travel and event planning - and have embarked on a new career in real estate. Once again, I have control over my own destiny (as much as a mere human can actually control these things)..and it is exciting!

As my 40th birthday looms around the corner, I remind myself to strive to be brave instead of striving to be safe - to look forwards instead of backwards - to enjoy my journey to the fullest!

The year that started out with tears has ended with joy and promise.