Hitting the Reset Button

A few days ago, I was running down the path near my house. Running consistently this winter has been a struggle for me and I am determined to get back on track (my tight jeans and higher numbers on the scale have been quite the incentive). The problem is I am somewhat impatient….okay….I am VERY impatient and I tend to push myself too hard and then pay for it days later.

As I was running, I was getting all of the aches and pains that come from non-use - - my knee started hurting, then my shin, then my big toe, then my pinky toe, then my hip….you get the picture…..all at mile 1. I kept telling myself to just push through….keep going……keep running….one foot in front of the other. My shoulders started to sag and my mind was getting off track. My run was turning more into a shuffle of sorts….trudgery…..hell.

Now I am ALL about pushing myself through the hard times, but I was worried that I would end up injured and not be able to run for a few weeks….so I simply stopped running and began walking. The tape in my head began playing right on cue, “Becky, you need to run…..Becky, you are wimping out…..Becky, you will never get back in shape this way….Becky, you are a total loser…” Remembering my mantra of meditating on all that is beautiful, of good report, noble, and praiseworthy……I turned my thoughts to the positive and told myself that it was okay…that I would run tomorrow…or the next day. I reminded myself getting back on track would take time and there was nobody on the running path judging me….. (although I swear that somehow people are keeping tallies on my running habits as they drive by….but that is subject to another blog and possibly some heavy professional analysis)….

So….walking down the path, I shuffled the songs in my iPod to find something fun. Lo and behold, I felt like running again! My feet were light, my pace was good and no aches and pains. The Reset Button was hit. In allowing myself to regroup, I set myself up for success. In stopping my negative momentum, I was able to direct my energy positively. In the words of my horse trainer, “You can’t go through a pile of manure and come out smelling like a rose.” His point was when things are just falling apart, don’t keep moving in that direction because you feel like to you have to go through it……stop for a moment, regroup and then resume - get out of the mire and onto success.

As I ran back to the house, I thought of how important the Reset Button has been in my survival of divorce. Being able to be in the midst of an emotional crisis and allowing myself to stop and regroup has kept me emotionally healthy. By allowing myself to emotionally stop, I have been able to gain perspective on situations - to look at them with new eyes. When I charge through and become emotionally reactive things fall apart.

So Divorced Diva’s Rule number 3: When you feel overwhelmed, stop - - hit the reset button - find a killer song on your iPod, and start again at your own pace. That way you’ll end up smelling like a rose instead of the other alternative......

My Realtor Video Introduction

It's been a busy, busy week here at the Dream Home Company, Realtors! I received the finished version of my video profile created by Dave Anderson at Pinpoint Multimedia. Creating the video was a lot of fun - - I had several out-takes which I am sure will come to haunt me at some point in time.... :)

Video Profile

Enjoy!

Bunny Hills and Karaoke Songs

Fear is a curious thing….it can paralyze…it can motivate….it can damage…it can even inspire. The last few years, my mantra has been “don’t act out of fear - don’t decide out of fear - be proactive - have faith.” Fear causes me to act in the most irrational ways…..

Case in point:

When I first moved to Indiana in the early 1990’s, my (then) hubbie took me skiing in Michigan. I had never seen that much snow in my life…..I had never worn so many layers…giant gloves and goggles…and snow pants. I felt as if I were going to walk on the moon….the Stay Puff Marshmallow Man had nothing on me……

I took the obligatory ski lesson (which I was grateful) and set out for the bunny hill armed with the knowledge that if I fell, I knew how to get up. My (then) hubbie was off skiing the expert slopes and had pretty much left me to my own devices. There I was standing at the foot of the bunny hill….walking awkwardly in skis….looking around……and trying desperately not to look like a big ski-dork.

Looking to my left, I saw the tow rope the skiers used to get to the top of the hill. In my usual take charge fashion, I confidently trodded over to the moving rope and grabbed a hold----SPLAT! There I was…face-first in the snow…skis entangled…body flattened…..rolling around in the snow next to the tow rope trying to get my Stay Puff Marshmallow Man-self up….Wow….that was embarrassing!! I moved away from the rope and watched the bunny hill novices miraculously grab onto the rope and be ushered to the top…..oooohhh….they bent their knees and set back a little. A little more skeptical this time, I plodded back to the rope…this time armed with a little more knowledge. I bent my knees, grabbed onto the rope and was ushered to the top. Now this wasn’t too bad.

Wow! The hill didn’t look so tall from the bottom. I stood at the edge of the hill precipice…..dang!! Looking around desperately for another way down….I watch and hope for a miracle…..that I could just wiggle my nose and be transported down to the bottom….no such luck. I watch the little kids going down the hill-coming back up-going down-coming back up…..and think, “Becky Pruitt you can do this!!” So there I stand….ready to go 1…2…..2 ½ …..2 ¾ …no……okay…okay…here we go….I stand on the edge ready….poles in hand….determined…..1…2…I can’t…. The people around me must have thought I had lost my mind. This is the bunny hill for goodness sake!! An hour later….as I am still standing on the top of the bunny hill desperately hoping for a miracle…..up there all by myself…..I finally muster the courage to push off the hill and plow my way down. Whew…that wasn’t so bad!! When I got to the bottom, there was the (then) hubbie grabbing my arm telling me now that I had an hour or so practice on the bunny hill, I was ready to tackle the intermediate slope (did I mention that he is now the X….)

Last night, I did the same thing with karaoke. It is a foreign concept to me and for some strange reason (plus some past history…the X was a musician) it scares me to death. I want to be perfect (or at least not suck) and it is one of those things where you actually have to practice and be willing to try and fail. There are so many things out of my control (like the bunny slope) and so many variables. So I stand there looking at the words…trying to sing…but the words just won’t come out. I just can’t commit to sing….I just can’t seem to “go for it…” the risk of failure seems too great. Standing on stage, I try hard as heck to look “cute”….try not to get frustrated…. ….1…2….2 ½ …2 ¾ …. not going to happen……and I look for my escape…. and sit down once again without singing. The funny thing is---I WANTED to sing….desperately…but I just couldn’t.

The question looms……is this what I do when I am afraid?? Do I stand on the top of that hill and become paralyzed with inaction?? Do I second guess…analyze..compare and look for an escape? Am I missing out on the joy in life because I hold back…too scared to push off of the hill and start a journey…..sing a song……take a risk?

Be Brave, Becky….be brave!!

I Won I Won I Won!!!

When Cindy Hartman of Hartman Inventory ran a contest on their blog http://www.hartmaninventoryblog.com/ to win two tickets to the Indiana Flower and Patio Show, I knew I had to enter......and.....drum roll.....I won!!! This is SO exciting to me as I rarely win anything....and I really wanted to go to the Flower and Patio Show...exciting stuff!!!

Here is my contest entry:

Why the Divorced Diva should have the tickets to the Flower and Patio Show

1. Growing up southern, flowers started to bloom in February…..and in Indiana every February and March I get really sad because I see no flowers….and it’s cold….and grey….and cold….and…brown….Getting to see all those flowers will make me happy beyond belief….a happiness I would be more than willing to share with those around me

2. My 40th birthday was 3 days ago….and it would make a nice present….and I DO so love presents!!!

3. It would give me a place to take the new man in my life……did I just say that publicly….yes, a new man……and what better place to test the muster of a man….than spending the day at the Flower and Patio show…..it would be a true act of service…

4. I would be willing to guest blog on your site about it and post a link from my blog to yours……..

5. I will Twitter your praises till the cows come home!

6. My yard is in desperate need of ideas….and now that I have lived there a year…I can now landscape….

7. I will invite you and your hubbie to sit on my deck, have a margarita and look at my garden……..which will be a thing of beauty because I went to the Flower and Patio Show

8. And last but not least…….drum roll……because I desperately need something new to add to my Facebook status!!!!


So now that I have won......I have an official date to the Flower and Patio Show....a true test of the measure of a man....as a matter of fact, Cindy sent me a personal note with the tickets asking me to let her know how the "test" goes.......a day of looking at flowers and decks....hmmmm....stay tuned